My daily Life

Good morning folks! Well its payday Friday, what a relief. Something to make up for such a long ass week. So at work chillin. Thoughts marinating in the brain, sometimes it voices its own aura louder than other times, and at other times I seem to be more effected by it than other times. Depends really what my state of mind or mood is at that moment. As many of you may know by now, I tend to be weak when it comes to…well you know already so I don’t need to explain that.

Well today, choco be moving to her new place. congrats girlie! Can’t wait to go visit and see. Been talking to a few folks lately. Some for mahjong meet ups, others for just brief chit chat. You know someone to kill time with. Nothing serious. I really can’t wait for this weekend to come, I just wanna crash. Need to catch up on some lost sleep. Always losing sleep nowadays. Be waking up at odd hours of the night. Sit there wake up, dark room only thing I see is the glare from the tv. Eyes soar ,body feeling restless, feet numb [wtf is going on?] Sweating then cold, headache, eyes soar again, headache, close eyes, headache still there, feels like the room is spinning, cant breathe, get up go to the computer, stare at the screen, lay back down repeat steps, 2:00am drowsy headache and sleepy. but still feeling anxious but dont know why. 2:30am finally fell asleep woke up 5:00 am tired. can we see a pattern developing here?

Seriously, I don’t know whats going on with me these days, and obviously whatever it is thats bothering me is effecting my body and me going to sleep at night. So many changes so many adjustments, shouldnt really effect me really, nothing out of the ordinary. Been through much worst with extensive repercussions lingering. As I said, I don’t mean to live life or anyone shouldn’t live life with regrets, but everyone always has something that they wish they could’ve done differently or handled differently. Which by not doing so, caused an irreversable and inevitable destiny. So by now your left thinking, ” what the fuck was I thinking then?” *Cha starts to chuckle* dayam I remember my school years. I was such an ignorant kid back then. I wish I knew the things I knew now, doesn’t everybody? Stupid decisions I made, the things I did. Just stupid. LOL but hey I guess it what makes me what I am today. right?!?

Bajeebuzz! I don’t know if me and choco are the only ones who actually have time to sit and think about these things, some say we might have too much time on our hands, some may say we are just bored trying to kill time, others may think we just deep like that. It’s really an unavoidable conversation, we always seem to ease into it, just soo much drama going on with everyone, that you just have to sometimes sit back and analyze things. Yet other times shouldnt be even given a time of day to make it a significant issue. and even at times, I lay there in bed looking at the ceiling thinking, ” is this really all to life? The drama, the bills, work, etc? Is life just simply that simple/complicated? Yes yes, I am just rambling on. So what?!?

*big sighs* again. Hows that for ya, food for the brain this lazy but busy Friday Morning!

Well what can I say? I am such a mahjong addict, unfortunately Im still learning the “techniques” got my ass whooped seriously by a pro. I mean I just sat back and by the 3rd to 4th move, the game was over, and I was left broke. LOL. shes funny though. had a good time, looking forward to the next session (cha replies: I bet you are) hahaha. well for those runnin’ on central time, hope you guys took into consideration the daylight savings time and changed your times forward. So 1 hour less to work, but one hour less of sleep. *cha thinks balance beem*

as many of you know, the Pope died. Not a religious person by far or near, but I did feel a sense of sadness. I guess someone dieing period is sad you know. I always think I won’t be able to see them again, physically. Won’t be able to feel their embrace. As many of you know I’m a very affectionate type of person, so yeah its crucial. One life to live,eh? One chance. but we’ll not get into that right now. I did find the recent events regarding the pope and that terry chick ironic. One feeding tube taken off the other inserted. Irony is amongst us, and so far this year that was one of the biggest ones that came right out and slapped us in the face.

It’s April, how amazing the year is passing by so quick. yes the only thing I can worry about is whats happening in the present instead of thinking of the future. I have so many plans, so many goals I need to reach, but for some reason I am still at a stand-still. You know feelings that make you hesitate from actually doing what you gotta do. So that’s all I gotta say about that. Plannin’ on taking a trip to jland this December with a few friends of mine. Going to check out the Tokyo Auto Show. Prolly start really plannin by November. From what I heard theres a package going around not too bad of a price and it includes the whole burritoe. The roundtrip air fare, hotel, translator, vip passes, transportation, and meals. So will definately try to verify that!

Well I finally have a chance to update. been super uuber busy at work, can’t even manage to check my fav forums anymore. So yeah I’m at home, playing ‘jong, well I was. So I was sitting around playing jong friday night and suddenly I had an urge to want to go clubbing. It was kinda weird really. I haven’t been in ages. Never had the motivation to go. I guess when I was listening to a few songs that reminded me of my high school days. Back when I went clubbing wednesday till saturday night. Slept Mon and Tues and then started all over again. I kinda miss those days, but I don’t wanna go clubbing exessivly as I did when I was younger. Under age, may I add. I guess I played out the scene. so yeah *cha takes a deep breathe* “the story of my life..” lol.

Well it is growing nearer and nearer for me to leave for the Philippines soon. I’m excited at the same time nervous. But I guess I’m nervous of what will happen and what I will leave behind when I do go. * hears Jenny calling me downstairs* gotta go folks. My turn to play ‘jong again.

I’m fed up with this damn job…. damn I remember when I used to like coming to work, now I absolutely dread it. It gets me in a bad mood just being here. So i’m sitting here thinkin’ if I didn’t need the damn mula my ass would so not be here. OMG!! when is it all going to end?

*cha takes a deep breathe* really, i’m sick and tired, the job is a good job for a paycheck (decent, I guess) but as a career…psshhhahhh… aint even gonna happen. This freakin’ sucks all I wanna do is go home and chill, not feeling well, allergies are full blown this morning. On top of that had to fix the shower rod cause it fell, had me balancing on the damn tub friggin’ 5 in the morning. So yeah my day is total shit so far. *cha pleads* Help Help! SOS. Someone get me out of here!!!

so yeah im whining, bitchy but it is well justified. just stressin’ and tired of the calls. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its Only FUCKIN’ THURSDAY!!!!! To shed some light, its payday well paynight tonight…. thats the only good thing.

Cha was not present at work today. Nor was choco. Anyway. apparently there are going to be “consequences” for not showing up, or in other words a “certain” “individual” would like to write me up for it, but you can’t write up someone who called in sick. To give you folks insight I don’t do this often at all. The mofo which I will name, “Chips” has been giving me stress at work. Gonna write me up for “job performance” well I don’t give a shit, cause you know what? I’m fed up with supervisors who don’t know shit about their own account and wanna tell other folks what to do. Please appoint someone who is deserving of the position and knowledgable of the account that they will “supervise” over. First of all, Chips never comes into work in the time he is scheduled to work, nor does he always stay till then end of the scheduled shift. Yet he wants to tell other folks to do over-time but he wanna leave early? Oh no! I wouldn’t even let him go without saying anything to him. Which I’m glad my friend and co-worker did. Anyway ahhh work. like i said I used to dig going used to get along with everyone and actually did some “team-work” now it’s every person for themselves. I guess noone can cover your ass better than yourself right? Well If things get worst, which I’m assuming will happen, then I got something up my sleeves. In addition it will include hard evidence to justify my accusation, if need be, the bitch out of cha will be seen and will be felt throughly through my wrath. Now as far as I’m concerned I have done more for this account than I ever have dedicated myself in any of my previous jobs. I was upset when a friend of mine informed me that “Chips” said that 30 mintue- 1 hr. lunches are a courtesy of the company and not mandatory. You gotta be kidding me, this guy suppose to be once the upholder of the law and he doesn’t know basic labor laws? anytime you work 8 hrs or more the employee must be given a rest period. Now im still pending research on this. But be for sure I will be lookng at the Dept. of Labor site. anyway I’m done ranting for now cause it takes so much energy when your mad… so ima go chillax!!

I’m back for the time being. Found a new job. Could be a lil’ bit more happy, but hey I can’t complain. got some things I need to take care of here. Thinkin’ of going back to the Philippines. Just don’t know when. anyway some pics…

I have most on vid cam. including our island hopping trip. I shouldn’t have to point out Maki to you all. It’s obvious which one she is. hehehe Anyway these are just a few pics of my friends and family in Cebu. I miss ‘em. Hope to see you guys again soon!

figures. have some drama to come home to. Thought it was gonna be great coming back home, see my boo and all. well this morning recieved a few txts that she leaving me because she thinks I slept with Maki. well that I sleep with Maki everynight. *sighs* I just don’t know. I can, yes CAN believe this would happen. I know she jelly but dayamm. ionno guess illhave to see what happens when i get back. *grrr*

me and Auntie Nancy had a deep convo about me staying here. Told me my course would take me 4 yrs to finish. So if i do decide to stay here, itll be for that period of time. Gonna go home, think about it. Long and hard. hang out with my friends and what not. see what they think. I’m confused as to what I really want right now. Fo sho finish school but where?!? u know.

so here I am 10:45 am Cebu  local time. Sitting here bloggin’ everyone still asleep. With all the drama I couldnt go back to sleep, starting to develop a painful headache. Took some aleve and yeah. * cha thinks “gotta keep your head up, this will pass” * So yeah. gonna have dinner tonight with my friends… a place we have been eating. Gudah.gud. thats place is the bomb nizzle. Got foine chicks who eat there, and the food is outstanding. yup we eating there tonight. **edit edit** gotta another dinner schedule tonight. Mother and that side of the family. I rather do lunch with them and go about our business, but ionno. sighs* gotta go now. c u when I get back folks…..

*sigh* I’m home sick, kayasa ah. I miss Philippines, for realz. I wanna go back asap. It’s all I can think about. They told me if I miss it now, imagine if I went to go visit in Decemeber. They said I wouldn’t wanna leave then, like at all. Dayamm this Philippines fever need to get out of my head. No helping that Maki and my cousins are pressuring me to come back. I do wanna come back, guys. I just need to take care of things here before I dive into that world. *sigh sigh and cries*

certainly been a wild week so far. Been chillin’ with Jen, Anny, Jita and what not. Jen is certainly a crazy ass girl. Hahah she certainly knows how to have a good time. anyway been going through some drama, when does cha don’t right? Drama with Maki and Tess. They’ve been going at it since I’ve came back. Been hearing Maki been going to all my family’s cribs and confessing her love for me. Sheesh! ionno. I mean drama. Cousin called me tellin’ me about all this drama. all the crying.

now… sitting here at the crib, spending time with muh boo. Calling back home cause all my cousins and friends want me to go back, in time guys. in time. just give me a minute.

you know lately been observing anny and her crew. interesting as i said earlier…Inter-resting. yup.

so many things that has happened, so many choices i need to make. Words can’t simply convey it all. If you can only plug in to my head. Fuck-a HBO Fuck-a Cinemax Fuck-a Movies. Its much greater than that. like whoa. I close my eyes, and all my thoughts are scattered. I rarely sleep. and when I do I wake up every hour. Maybe it just me still adjusting, Anny knows I get like this when I come back home from “there”. shit man… i don’t even know where i stand right now. Like i said so many choices. soo soo many.

well it looks like i will be gone for some months. yup. I will be going back to Cebu in August. then I have an open ticket to stay as long as I want. Yes its life changing, maybe itll make me appreciate what I have here in the U.S. and maybe motivate me to actually focus on what I gotta do in life. Just a temporary change of environment, but a permanent change of aspect. In time we will see.

so yeah, got some plans before I go. Gotta spend time with muh boo here, friday will prolly be the last time I will see her until some months. eeek! and as for my friends, well you know gotta do my farewells for the meantime. well folks just shedding some light on my situation for right now. As I get back to Cebu, I will definately take hella hella pics.yup! but meantime, party city and kick it with my friends before I go… so peepz holla at me. let me know wasssuppp….